Working Girl

I have two jobs. This is definitely a first for me, but one that I can handle. For the first time in my life, I have the TIME for two jobs. School is not keeping me from working. This has been a hard concept for me to grasp, and I'm coming to discover that starting two jobs simultaneously is not as easy as I would have thought. My jobs are COMPLETELY different, and I have to put on a different persona for each one of them. This has left me with a bit of an identity crisis on my hands. But, as an actor I should be used to this, right? Apparently assuming other personas onstage is not the same as doing so in real life. I'm really struggling with dropping my casual, "I get along with everyone because I do my best to be super nice all the time" attitude when working with the teenagers at school. I need to learn to be an authority figure, but the fact that they're going to have to hate me in order for me to gain their respect is a hard pill for me to swallow. I just need to buckle down and make myself do it. It'll make things a lot easier on me in the long run, and hopefully I can not only earn the respect of the students, but of the other teachers as well. Being the youngest person working there, I sometimes feel like I am not taken as seriously as the other people that are training for my same job but are older than I am. Age discrimination is a real thing. Crazy realization.

But, the really big news is that I got into grad school! I'll be attending Lewis and Clark College in the Fall! I'm so excited to have been accepted to such a wonderful school, and I can't wait to start my life up there. Grad school will be the start of an entirely new chapter in my life, one where I am financially independent, living in a new city, in a new state, without anyone I know. Phew! That's scary. But somehow, I'm more excited at the possibilities that this new life is bringing than afraid of what could go wrong. I'm a big girl. I can handle it. The only thing I'm really nervous about is quitting my jobs to go to school. I feel kind of bad taking these jobs when I've known all along that I'm just going to be leaving at the end of the summer. It kind of feels like lying... I've been assured multiple times that they can't be mad at me for this, because neither of my jobs are really the type of jobs that you would stay at forever, especially with a degree. I'm just nervous about what my bosses will think when I tell them. I hope they don't think I was a waste of their time.

I'd like to say that I've had some sort of life-changing realization recently that I can share with you, but the truth is that I've just been trying to keep my head above water with everything that is going on. I'm definitely going through a bit of an age crisis because of my 23rd birthday coming up. 23 sounds like a grown up age. I don't want to be a grown up. Hence, the crisis.

Well, I sure hope that my next post will be a little more interesting... But if that means something terrible happens in my life that would be more interesting to read about, I'll take boring blog posts any day.